Today I am incredibly excited to welcome L.A. Witt, author of The Closer You Get, coming out November 15. Closer features one of my favorite combinations – manwhore and virgin together in one book! We got to chatting about how much I love virgin heroes and I asked L.A. to share some of her thoughts about them from an author’s perspective. So please join me in giving her a warm welcome! (P.S. Giveaway information at the bottom of the page)
As I mentioned above, the virgin hero is one of my favorite tropes to read. As an author, what drew you to creating a virgin character?
In the case of The Closer You Get, I’d been thinking for a long time, especially after hearing from numerous readers about it, that Kieran from The Distance Between Us needed to fall in love with someone. He was happy being slutty, and would have continued to be, but I really wanted him to get his happy ending (as did my readers). The challenge was finding someone who could really get to him like no other man had. So that had Mr. Manwhore at the forefront of my mind, and the more I ran through potential partners for him in my head, the more I kept leaning toward someone who had significantly less experience. Behold: Alex the virgin. Perfect, because I’d also been wanting to work with a character like Alex, so once the two of them met in my mind, the story had to happen.
Alex is one of a few inexperienced characters I’ve written, though he is—well, was, now that Kieran’s gotten his hands on him—by far the least experienced. The main thing that draws me to virgin characters in particular is why they’re still virgins. In a culture where teenagers start experimenting at ages most people would prefer not to acknowledge, it’s becoming more and more unusual for someone to make it into, never mind past, their college years without becoming sexually active. So why would this particular individual wait? Shyness? Fear? Strict upbringing? Confusion or embarrassment about their sexuality? Was it simply their choice to hold off until later? Were they happy with their choice? Did they regret it? How would that person feel or respond when they did get involved with someone sexually? How would their reasons for staying a virgin come into play after the character was intimate with someone? There are countless possibilities, and they’re fascinating to explore.
Do you think the romance stereotype alpha male makes it harder to publish books with men who maybe aren’t so confident or experienced?
Yes and no. A lot of readers like the alpha male characters, which is fine, but there’s always someone out there who wants someone a little different. And for the record, even though I don’t tend to write about them, I’m not opposed to alpha males. I find them rather sexy, actually. What I don’t care for is the alpha male as he often appears in romances: domineering, obnoxious, sometimes even abusive. I don’t find that endearing in the slightest. That’s not to say I don’t like the occasional anti-hero, it just bugs me when I’m expected to fall in love with a character who, in real life, I would just as soon smack. A jerk is a jerk. That said, I do like alpha men. I love Doms, which is why they’re starting to show up more and more in my work. If one of my heroes is an insufferable and controlling asshole, though, they’re damn sure going to straighten up and be a decent human being before I expect my main character (or my reader!) to fall for him.
In The Closer You Get, you have one super experienced guy paired with a virgin. I love this dichotomy because we get to see the more experienced partner having to think about sex in a different way than he is used to, back before he became so jaded. What is it that interested you about this combination?
There were just so many possibilities for conflict with a virgin and a slut. (Incidentally, my friends and I called this book “Slutman vs Virginman” while it was in progress) Kieran has to deal with questions and concerns he’s never encountered before: Am I moving too fast for him? How do I do this without overwhelming him? What if he regrets something? What if he resents me for it? What if he gets too attached to me? It forces him to approach sex with a level of restraint he’s never even heard of. And what’s more fun than forcing a character out of his comfort zone? Well… forcing TWO characters out of their comfort zones.
Ok, now the really good stuff. Keiran and Alex’s first time having anal sex was off the charts hot. As a writer, what is it like writing sex scenes for a guy’s first time?
Glad you enjoyed that! As for writing a first time, it’s somewhat apropos that the first male-male sex scene I ever wrote was the guy’s first time with another man. For those who’ve read my older work, Rules of Engagement was my first ever attempt at M/M, so Dustin’s first time was also mine.
Writing a first time is always interesting. I mean, here’s this person who’s never experienced something, and that something happens to be incredibly intense and powerful, so there’s bound to be some nerves. Plus they’re going to be overwhelmed, hopefully in a good way. As a writer, I try to strike that delicate balance between emotional and physical responses. Make sure the reader is right there and feels everything, but don’t overdo it. Don’t go so overboard on the emotional that the physical is lost in the shuffle, but don’t get so into the mechanics that it reads like an instruction manual written by a Vulcan.
Writing a scene like that is challenging, but I enjoy them. In fact, it’s funny you should mention it: there’s a first-time scene in my current work-in-progress, Where There’s Smoke. Apparently I write more of these than I thought. Hehe
This is purely an unscientific observation, but it seems virgin heroes are more common in m/m stories than m/f. My thought is that with two men, you still can have one alpha guy in there, whereas in a m/f story the virgin hero sort of defies the traditional male romance role. What are your thoughts?
Hmm. Interesting observation. One thought—a purely unscientific hypothesis—is that it’s less about someone being an alpha and more about the value judgments associated with virginity and different levels of sexual experience. For a woman to still be a virgin (by a certain age, until marriage, whatever) is considered a positive thing. For a man, it’s often negative. He must be undesirable, he must be a mama’s boy, he’s probably gay (I’ve heard all these things, and they make my teeth grind). As they age, the female virgin is more virtuous, the male virgin more peculiar and weird. Similarly, with age, the experienced female becomes more of a whore and less desirable, whereas the man is more coveted (he has enough experience to please a woman, he hasn’t been tamed yet and is therefore a challenge, etc). In general, sexual experience in a man is a positive, just as sexual “innocence” in a woman is a positive. That sound you hear is my teeth grinding once again.
The thing is, I don’t view virginity as something particularly valuable or desirable. It’s not Undesirable, don’t get me wrong…I just don’t think someone’s value as a person should change the longer they maintain their virginity, or should change once they’ve had sex with someone. I don’t find anything morally superior about chastity. Of course there are those who view this differently, but I write my stories with that attitude and moral outlook.
In my mind, where virginity creates conflict between two characters is, as I said before, in terms of different levels of experience, not one being morally superior. The more experienced one might, like Kieran, be concerned about moving too fast and overwhelming his novice partner. The virgin, in this case Alex, might find his partner’s level of experience intimidating, plus he might be worried about the sexual experience being unpleasant, underwhelming, or even painful. There’s a certain level of performance anxiety for both that wouldn’t exist between two people who were similarly experienced. Any time people are in bed, awkward moments can happen, and a more or less matched pair would be more apt to just write it off as nerves or clumsiness, whereas guys like Alex and Kieran could be expected to be hyperaware of any “mistakes.” They might be more embarrassed, more uncomfortable, etc. While the pressure is on Kieran to make sure Alex’s first experience is a good one, Alex is going to feel like he has to compete with more experienced partners of Kieran’s past.
So for me, the conflict between a virgin and a manwhore (as Kieran calls himself) isn’t a moral one, but a personal one. Trying to connect, trying to please each other, stumbling through their encounters, etc. The possibilities are endless, and I guarantee Alex won’t be the last virgin I write. In fact, after doing this interview, a plot bunny has started gnawing on my skull, and I now have a hetero book in progress with a virgin hero. Details to come. 😉
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit Joyfully Jay today and chat with me! It has been so much fun! If folks want to find out more about you or your books, how can they find you?
Where to find me – as both L. A. Witt and Lauren Gallagher – on ye olde interwebs:
- Website: http://www.loriawitt.com
- Twitter: GallagherWitt
- Blog: http://gallagherwitt.blogspot.com
- Personal Blog: http://navywifeadventures.blogspot.com
I always love hearing from readers, so feel free to drop me a line at thethinker42@gmail.com!
And now the fine print:
- By entering the contest, you’re confirming that you are at least 18 years old.
- Winners will be selected by random number.
- If you win, you must respond to my email within 48 hours or another winner will be chosen. Please make sure that your spam filter allows email from Joyfully Jay and leave your email address if it is not in your profile.
Good luck and thank you again to L.A. for the great post!
>It’s curious what you mention about male virginity being perceived in a negative light whereas female virginity is perceived in a positive light. I have noticed now that I’m more active in the romance community and read a lot of reviews and discussion topics, that when it comes to romance readers the case it’s actually the opposite. Everyone loves a virgin hero, maybe because we’re tired of the hypersexual alpha male, or because we want something different, or because we associate virgin hero with someone more sensitive, or for whatever reason romance readers really embrace a virgin hero.
On the other hand, everyone’s tired of the virgin heroine trope, and feel like it’s something left for the 80’s bodice-ripper novels and not for a more contemporary story, even when it comes to historical romances, when being a virgin should be more accurate, people like to see uncommon sexually experience heroines. So there’s a bit of a double standard there that I’m guessing comes from years and years of stereotypical characters, that doesn’t necessarily reflect what people consider appropriate or normal in real life, where being a male virgin equals something just as bad a sexually experienced woman.
Great interview!
Please count me in but just for The Closer you Get because I already have The Distance Between Us.
>Great interview. I have to confess I'm not a huge fan of the alpha male in large part because of what Lori described. They often come across as more assholes than alphas. I prefer more normal "beta" guys as they call them.
And all that stuff about m/f may be in part why I switched to m/m. Perhaps I didn't think about it quite that way but there seem to be such strictly prescribed rules about behaviour for men and women that can be frustrating if you don't buy into it.
I do know a young man who was (not sure still, it's not something we discuss) a virgin even up to his university graduation and it was a choice for him. He didn't just go with the gay guys will sleep with anything trope and wants a relationship before he goes that far. And good for him, but I have other friends who are happy to have causual encounters and hey, good for them too. Placing a moral value on whether you will or won't have sex with someone is just … antiquated. Maybe years ago when pregnancy, disease, etc. were uncontrollable variables it was a useful quality, now, not so much. 🙂
Tam (excuse my weird name but for some reason the browser I'm using won't let me sign in using Google – Grrrr – so I'm BER today. 🙂
>Great Interview!! Oh these books sound soo good…already added to my TBR list at goodreads! Can't wait to rad them.
>Awesome interview!
I love virgin heroes, it always makes a book a little extra special. I am always a fan in m/f books so I really love them in m/m.
Count me in tue giveaway, cus I like seriously wanna win 🙂
>Great interview – totally agree with dislike of the Alpha male who is over the top dominant bordering on aggressive in a non BDSM relationship (though that's one trope I do read a fair bit of)
Definately adding this (and a stack load of previous work) to the tbr list
K
>Wonderful interview – I especially like the way you play out the difficulties between two people with vastly different amounts of sexual experience. Both of these books look fabulous!
-Mandy Beyers
>I'm interested in seeing what draws these two characters together and how they relate one another.
lenikaye@yahoo.com
>Virgin heroes are such interesting characters. Thanks for the insightful interview.
I'd like to enter the contest, too. *crosses fingers for luck*
>These books sound fantastic! I can't believe I haven't read them yet. I like your thoughts on chastity/experience. I don't think it's something to place value on either.
>These books sound fantastic! I can't believe I haven't read them yet.
rogcaprino at hotmail dot com
>JayHJay, L.A. Witt, thanks to both of you for the great interview, as a long time fan of L.A. Witt, I’d enjoyed every word. Please include me in the giveaway.
L.A., you got me thinking serious thoughts here. What about a guy, who just recently accepted his sexuality, and who in the past had experiences with women, but is about to have his first experience with a man, Is he still a virgin?
>Fantastic interview! 🙂
I definitely agree with Brie's points. Seems like everyone is aware of this double standard being present within real life's societies, and so we tend to gravitate to something different when it comes to what we're reading.
I'm not entirely sure what my thoughts are regarding sex in the real world. Honestly? I don't care that much. Who a person wants to have sex with and how often this person wants to do the deed is their decision and I don't think we get a right to judge them based on that – just like how other people don't have a right to judge us because we like rice with everything (as an Asian, people poke fun of me for that all the time) or because we like SUVs better than sedans.
I'd love to be entered for the giveaway, please. Thank you so much! 🙂
Beatrice
beatrice.g.tan [at] gmail [dot] com
>Thanks for joining in, everyone!
And to Naaju:
""What about a guy, who just recently accepted his sexuality, and who in the past had experiences with women, but is about to have his first experience with a man, Is he still a virgin?""
I'm not really sure what label would be used here. In Rules of Engagement, Dustin had been married to a woman, but then was with Brandon, his first experience with a man. I didn't refer to him as a virgin…he had sexual experience, just not with a man. And I think there is some debate in the LGBT community about how that works. Alex was the only character I could safely call a virgin because he was one in *every* sense of the word. Kieran is his first kiss, his first everything. So…besides someone like him, I'm really not sure what label I'd use.
L. A. Witt
>Hmmmm, I wonder if I have these in my To be Read list? Sounds good.
Tj
richards851@sbcglobal.net
>FWIW, in my kick off post earlier this week, I said I consider a virgin to be someone with little or no sexual experience with either gender (unless the book specifically identifies them as a virgin). This is a literary virgin though. I think in real life everyone has their own feelings. I mean some people consider "anything but" to still be a virgin, while others consider blow jobs and other mutual getting off to be the end of virginity. With women it seems to be more clear cut usually, but there are gay men who never have anal sex but certainly wouldn't consider themselves virgins.
In the end it probably doesn't really matter for all the reasons we have been discussing. Official "virginity" isn't necessarily the most critical thing. I think how you feel about what you do and who you do it with is more important.
>Great interview! I LOVE m/m books, and with virginal heroes even more so. Thanks for the great contest!!
susanmik AT gmail DOT com
>L. A., yes, from that perspective, it makes perfect sense. Thanks so much for taking the time to answer my question.
I can’t wait to read The Closer You Get.
JayHJay, I missed your earlier post about it, I will read it now. Yes, it might be a matter of personal perception, and levels of intimacy. Thanks for sharing your insights with me.
>Great interview. With you LA I like alpha males – strong men with character but for me they have to have bit of cheek to them too…
Sarah S
Sarahs7836(at)gmail(dot)com
>Very interesting post! Thanks for sharing 🙂
smaccall AT comcast.net
>Enjoyed the interview. Love L.A.'s books. Please enter me in the contest. itmfiddler at gmail dot com.
>Please enter me. Both of these sound intriguing.
>I enjoyed the interview; it was interesting and informative.
Thanks,
Tracey D
booklover0226 at gmail dot com
>Only have read "Nine-Tenths of the Law" (and have "With the Band" on my list to read). These ones sound good. I am in.
Thanks.
>These have to be added to my TBR list. But I'll enter the contest before I buy them! Crossing my fingers…
>Great interview…I can't wait to read these books. Please count me in 🙂
varuca25(at)gmail(dot)com
>Loved The Distance Between Us and now can't wait to read The Closer You Get! Wonderful interview too!
seritzko AT verizon DOT net
>Thank you L.A. & JayHJay for such a Great interview! L.A. I first found your writing through JayHJay when she reviewed "The Distance Between Us", I was hooked & immediately placed it on my TBR list as well as your upcoming realease, "The Closer You Get", I can't wait to read both these Books. I was thrilled when I found that you were going to be interviewed on Joyfully Jay, you have a new Fan here!
Wishing You Both the Best of Health & Happy Writing/Reading,
Renee'
paranormalromancefan@yahoo.com
>Thanks for the great interview!
I love slut-virgin pairs 😛
Cayce
cayce006 at yahoo dot com
>WOW! Jay, your interview really gave me pause about the stereotypes in place in most romance.
I personally like stories w/ alpha males (probably because I tend to be rather opinionated & I'm vocal in those opinions…lol). There's just something about a take charge kind of guy…mmmmmm!
Thanks for a great interview, Jay & LA!
>I love books with a virgin as the MC! I think virginity can be sexy! Of course a manwhore can be sexy, too! I really want to read this!
OceanAkers@aol.com
>Until I read this interview, I never really thought about virgin heroes. Huh. I do like to have at least one person in the relationship with experience. When it's two virgins fumbling around, it's actually painful for me to read. I guess in a M/F, it is true, if the male is a virgin and the woman isn't, I'm not as interested. If it were a F/m, well, that's a different story. HAH.
Please enter me in the contest.
lacrimsonfemme at gmail dot com