Today I am super excited to welcome the fabulous J.A. Rock to Joyfully Jay!  J.A. has just released the wonderful Wacky Wednesday which I totally adored (and reviewed here earlier today).  She is here with us today to tell us more about the book and writing bratty characters and domestic disclipline relationships.  J.A. has also brought a copy of Wacky Wednesday to give away to one lucky commenter, so check out the details below.

Welcome J.A.!

Why I Love Writing DD and Bratty Characters

 I confess, I’m a huge brat fan. As a reader and writer of BDSM fiction, I’ll put up with some seriously immature behavior from submissive characters. Maybe brats represent some side of me I’ve never really let free. From the time I was little, I was obsessed with doing things right and behaving well. I’ve loosened up some over the years, but it’s still very important to me to be in control of my feelings and reactions, to think before I speak, and to always appear competent and independent.

Brats’ sleeves are wet with heart juice. They act and react impulsively, make ill-considered decisions, and move through life leaving minor disasters in their wake. They’re sassy, candid, and generally pretty damn cute.

One reason I love writing domestic discipline is that I get to find good homes for brats. Obviously, not all submissives in real life DD relationships are brats, but in my books, they usually are. In By His Rules, Aiden finds a quiet strength in Keaton that helps him work through his self-esteem issues, fears about the future, and a certain amount of emotional immaturity. Aiden doesn’t necessarily view himself as a brat, nor has he considered a DD relationship prior to meeting Keaton. His acting out comes from some pretty raw places, and his relationship gives him a safe place to ride out the aftereffects of what he’s been through.

In my new release, Wacky Wednesday, about two quarreling partners who switch bodies for a day, Jayk knows what he is and what he needs. He enjoys being a brat. And while he may not enjoy being spanked as punishment, he enjoys his role in his relationship with Amon.

Jayk was incredibly fun to write. There’s some of that childlike can’t-not-touch-the-shiny-object at work in him. There’s also some I-know-how-adorable-I-am-and-I’m-gonna-work-it. But a lot of his brattiness comes from a place of deep insecurity. I haven’t quite figured out how to grow up yet. I want, as an adult, to have access to the things that made me feel safe as a child: Unconditional love, boundaries, guidance, and attention.

I think we all want these things to some extent. Brats know how to demand them.

Jayk is perceptive. He can be quite self-aware and mature. But he’s also impulsive, volatile, and more than a little reckless. What he has in Amon is someone who loves order, who insists on stability, and yet respects—even envies—what is wild and spontaneous in Jayk. That was a satisfying match to make as an author.

Any DD relationship is a mutual construct. The partners, even if one is “in charge,” are equals—equally responsible for coming up with and understanding the rules they live by, and equally aware of how and why the relationship works for them. A DD relationship is not the infantilization of the submissive partner by the disciplinarian. But it does allow those who crave a little extra guidance and security to openly need and savor those things. And it gives tops with strong caring streaks, tops who get off on being trusted and depended on, an arena in which to rock their leadership skills.

DD sometimes gets a bad rap. It gets mistaken for abuse or age play, and is often accused of being inherently misogynistic. I think this is due in part to a limiting yet widely accepted definition of DD as an arrangement between a male head of the household and a subordinate female, where the man makes all the decisions and the woman has no choice but to live by his rules or get spanked. And also to the notion that there is something undesirable or degrading about being the submissive partner in any kind of D/s relationship.

In the BDSM world, female submissives are frequently made to feel there is no way for them to reconcile their love of pain, humiliation, or surrender with the tenets of feminism. And so I do respect and cheer on submissive women who seek out fulfilling DD relationships with male dominants. But I caution against using a definition of DD that specifies a male dominant and a female submissive, because this “traditional” definition excludes the many dominant women who are the heads of their DD relationships, as well as LGBTQ partners who participate in DD. It really bums me out to see DD gendered. The desire for security, guidance, and affection isn’t gender or age specific. Nor is the desire to lead, support, and protect.

There’s a little bit of brat in all of us—and probably a little bit of top, too. That’s why Amon and Jayk’s body swap is able to serve its purpose in Wacky Wednesday. Once the two let go of their roles, each finds within himself an element of what he seeks from the other. Amon will always be more of a dom and Jayk will always be more of a brat, but these labels don’t define them, and ultimately the roles are freeing rather than limiting, fluid rather than static.

Brats are the vessels through which I live my back-sassing, spotlight-grabbing, tantrum-throwing fantasies. We grow, we mature, we harden and scar up and learn to put others’ desires before our own. But the emotions we have as adults are the same ones we had at age five, and we all feel our inner five-year-olds stomping around inside us on occasion. Brats aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I see something touching and admirable in one adult’s ability to reach out to another and say, “Hey, I need a place where I know it’s safe to throw a snit fit. Even though I’m a grown up and even though I know better, I need to be able to let these feelings out.” And the other person saying, “Okay. Welcome to that place.”

And now J.A. has brought a copy of Wacky Wednesday to give away to one lucky commenter. As I mentioned, I thought this book was fabulous so be sure to take a minute to enter!  The contest will close on Monday, June 4 at 11:59 pm EST.

  • By entering the contest, you’re confirming that you are at least 18 years old.
  • Winners will be selected by random number.
  • If you win, you must respond to my email within 48 hours or another winner will be chosen. Please make sure that your spam filter allows email from Joyfully Jay and leave your email address if it is not in your profile.
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