Hi guys! Today I am so excited to welcome back the fabulous Poppy Dennison to the blog. Poppy is here to talk to us more about her latest release, Born This Way (which I reviewed yesterday and really liked). Poppy has also brought a copy of the book to give away to one lucky reader. So please join me in giving Poppy a big welcome!
Questioning the “Q”
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine pointed out something really interesting to me—something I hadn’t really taken time to consider before. What exactly is that Q at the end of LGBTQ?
I’ve heard a couple different explanations. One is “Questioning” and that makes a lot of sense to me. Sexuality and personal identity is a pretty large concept. Some of us know from our first breath who we are and who we are meant to be. I have a good friend who knew from the time she was in Kindergarten that she wanted to be a lawyer. Me? Yeah, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, although I think this writing gig is what I’m meant to be doing right now. Understanding your sexuality has to fall somewhere in between for people too. Some people “know” and some are still trying to figure it out.
It’s the other Q word that really made me think though. Queer. It’s a pretty powerful word when you think about it. It has some pretty negative connotations, doesn’t it? Even the definition isn’t the best: “strange, odd”.
I read an article recently that explained why some members of the LGBTQ community oppose using Queer as part of the acronym. I get it. I really do. Who wants to be thought of as strange or odd? I know I don’t. But that’s part of the problem, isn’t it?
Going a little deeper into the reading reveals that there’s more to queer than meets the eye. It’s more than strange or odd. It’s different. It’s about questioning the heteronormative standards currently in place in our society. It’s about finding your place in the world and about accepting that different can be better.
Maybe I’ve got this all wrong—it’s a distinct possibility—but when I think of the word queer in those terms, I feel a connection with the word I never felt before. I’d have never said I was queer, but I don’t exactly follow those “standards”. I’m single and happy to be. No children and don’t want any. The thought of a “white picket fence” gives me hives. Add to that what I write and the fact that I value equal rights and marriage equality—well, I suddenly think the word queer applies to me too.
Aren’t we all a bit strange and odd? I mean, I’m deathly allergic to wine, think clowns are pretty much the scariest thing on the planet, find listening to Bubblegum Oldies really soothing, and don’t understand folks who would rather stay up late than get up early. Plenty of people find any and all of those things strange and odd.
But hey, maybe Lady Gaga really did say it best: I was born to survive. I was born to be brave. Baby, I was Born This Way. And maybe that means standing up and embracing the Q. Something to think about, isn’t it? I’d love to hear what you think.
Born This Way
Dayton Whitmore injures his arm playing basketball with his lion-shifter friends, and his best friend asks Dayton to check on her estranged brother Hart while he’s in Atlanta visiting a specialist. Though Dayton and Hart were never close, he grudgingly agrees.
Banishment from his pride meant Hart Sherman could never see his family again. His liger heritage—a tiger mother and lion father—was a thorn in his alpha father’s side. He always planned to go back for Dayton, the man he knows is his mate, but he uses his career as an entertainment attorney as an excuse to avoid risking Dayton’s rejection. When Dayton shows up unannounced on his doorstep, Hart wants nothing more than to claim him.
Knowing what it means to be a lion’s mate, Dayton isn’t in any hurry to make a lifetime commitment. To convince Dayton he’s serious, Hart must come to terms with the circumstances of his birth—and find a place in the pride for them both.
Now available from Dreamspinner Press
A sassy southern lady, Poppy Dennison developed an obsession with things that go bump in the night in her early years after a barn door flew off its hinges and nearly squashed her. Convinced it was a ghost trying to get her attention, she started looking for other strange and mysterious happenings around her. Not satisfied with what she found, Poppy has traveled to Greece, Malaysia and England to find inspiration for the burly bears and silver foxes that melt her butter. Her love of paranormal continues to flourish nearly thirty years later, and she writes steamy love stories about the very things that used to keep her up all night. If her childhood ghost is lucky, maybe one day she’ll give him his own happily ever after.
- Visit her on her web site: http://poppydennison.com/
- Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/poppydennison,
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/PoppyDennison
- Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5108648.Poppy_Dennison
Poppy has brought a copy of Born This Way to give away to one lucky reader. Just leave a comment at the end of the post to enter. The contest closes on Sunday, June 23rd at 11:59 pm EST.
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I told you the other day about my friend who embodies my idea of what the Q is. She identifies as a lesbian but she is attracted to both men and women. She is considering sex reassignment surgery and her perfect partner would be a trans woman with a working penis. 🙂 (Or in her words: a chick with a dick).
She doesn’t really fit under any of the other letters but she is definitely part of our community.
Exactly, Jase. There are so many ways to be a part of the LGBTQ community! I love that there is a letter for people who just don’t quite fit. 🙂
I have to say I always assumed the Q was for queer, but put no thought into what queer meant. It does seem like an odd addition, now that you mention it.
It really is, Issa. I’d never thought of what the Q really meant either. I loved the explanations though. There really is a place for everyone in the rainbow!
Thanks for your thought provoking post and the contest.
You’re welcome! I’m really glad you enjoyed it!!
I remember in college there would be a game in dorms or classes called Crossing The Line, where a question would be asked (pretty general/innocuous at first, then more personal) and everyone who could answer “yes” would cross the line. It was supposed to encourage bonding and such, though sometimes I found it a little intrusive. Anyway, a friend of mine had memories of a class where someone asked “Are you queer?” and EVERYBODY crossed the line! She found that pretty cool…
What a great story Trix! And so true! We’re all unique in our own ways!
I’ve always thought of it as meaning “questioning”. Queer, for me, can have serious connotations depending on who is using it and how. Context is everything!
Thanks for the giveaway!
Context is definitely everything, Maya! I read one article that said the LGBTQ community is taking back the Q–they want to erase the negativity associated with the word. I loved that!
What a great, thought-provoking post. Thanks for the giveaway!
You’re welcome, Antonia! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! Good luck on the giveaway.
Not that anyone asked, but I prefer “questioning” to “queer”! Questioning probably covers a wider range than queer. I don’t think queer needs to have a negative connotation, though. It is a word that’s being reclaimed and empowered.
I understand what you mean! Queer shouldn’t have a negative connotation. I’m really happy that it’s being reclaimed and empowered. 🙂
It all comes down to intent. Is it used in a derogatory manor, or questioning manor? I prefer people that color outside the lines, since I don’t fit into that box. 🙂 Looking forward to your new release Poppy!
Thank you Jadore! It is all about intent, but I think some of it also means taking back a word that shouldn’t be “bad” and forcing all that negative crap to go away! 🙂
Great post! Thanks!!!
You’re welcome Gigi! 😀
Queer isn’t a term that I tend to use or really like for that manner, but based on the way I’ve seen it used, it does have the advantage of limiting (or arguably even eliminating) the need to add yet more letters to the acronym.
That’s my thinking too, Joe. There’s only so many letters you can add without it turning cumbersome and getting confusing. I like that Q can be used in multiple ways for folks who don’t like the word Queer, but would really like for the negativity about the word to go away.
Thanks for the giveaway. I’d love to read the story.
I’ve never thought much about what the Q means, but your post has made me ponder on it.
Thanks Cynthia! I’d never given it much thought either and when my friend mentioned it to me, I had to go do some reading on it. I really didn’t know what it meant, you know? I’m glad I’ve given you thinky thoughts as well. LOL.
Please count me in. Thanks.
Good luck, Karl!
Thanks for the post! I like the term ‘queer’ possibly because of its historical connotations. Some people do feel different from others and don’t find stigma in it. Congrats on your newest book!
I have always felt that everyone should be whom they are and embrace their crazy. It really doesn’t matter to me if the Q means questioning or if it mean Queer, I just want people to be able to be who they are meant to be. Maybe one of these days people will no longer be defined by a letter of the alphabet, that the distinction will not longer be needed, because the love and acceptance of others makes the need for it obsolete. Just a thought.
My husband just asked me this question the other day and I said it was Queer but we were walking around Pride at the time and saw a number of banners that had Questioning. I had to admit that I wasn’t really sure which it was and I’m glad to see that either works. Either way I’m glad that the conversation is happening.
Please count me in; I always love Poppy’s writing, so it’d be great to win this.
Great post! Very thought-provoking 🙂 Thanks for the giveaway.
I love wine, doo wop (rock and roll precursor) and really don’t understand people that can smile at the ass-crack of dawn but we like the same kinds of books so it’s all good. Count me in for sure.
Loved the post thank you for sharing.
It’s about questioning the heteronormative standards currently in place in our society.
I love that definition of queer. It’s really empowering a word that has suffered from a very negative use. I approve 🙂
I’ve always identified as queer because detailing out all the different cubbyholes I may–or may not–fit in to seems exhausting. I also feel it’s a good catchall to avoid alphabet soup from happening, although I can understand the sensitivity, especially with older generations, toward the word queer.
Also, sometimes they put LGBTQQ–my coworker saw that and needed me to explain what the ‘queer’ stood for. But sometimes the single Q at the end can stand for both questioning and queer. Or maybe just quality 🙂
Thank you for taking the time to post about this important topic. Also, this sounds like a great book!
Just finished reading it – awesome story!!
Looking forward to this!