Patrick West is your average young man, working as the night manager on an estate, going to college, and being on the swim team. Sounds pretty normal except that the principal is Nicholas Andersen, better known as the Silver Paladin. When the mansion’s artificial intelligence erroneously requests Pat’s presence in Andersen’s secret lab, little does Pat know that he will end up in bed with the gorgeous superhero.
Pat soon discovers that the request was in fact for an escort, and the AI is all in a tizzy about payment for services rendered. Pat does the only logical thing: he calls one of his sisters who sets him up with all of the necessary information to accept the payment. When Silver Paladin saves Pat from a super villain attack, things get awkward, but soon after, Andersen shows up at Pat’s doorstep.
The awkwardness fades and there is something about Pat that intrigues Andersen. Too bad Andersen doesn’t realize that Pat’s mother is Serpentissima, one of the greatest super villains of all time. A rash promise to his sister Cea has Pat acting as a minion for Sir Toby and in the battle between good and, well, evil. Silver Paladin saves Pat yet again, except how will Pat explain the minion uniform?
I have no idea where to start with this review, how to adequately describe how insanely funny and fast-paced Love for the Cold Blooded was. I have been running around with quotes from this story going through my head, giggling all the while, having described it as a superhero action movie crossed with a Mel Brooks comedy. I am forced by the nature of the story to leave out so much, if only not to give away half the fun.
Now that I have said that, I will say that if you are looking for characters that exhibit deep thoughts, good development, and depth, go somewhere else. This story could not have worked with what I traditionally look for in characters, otherwise the whole “polar opposites” heroes versus villains would not work. Pat is by far the most complex character, having a super villain mother, minion sisters, and working for one of the most incorruptible, stick-in-the-mud hoagies, oops, I meant heroes on the planet. What is a hoagie, you might ask? A hoagie is the derogatory term used for heroes, and Pat is continuously correcting himself in front of Nick, aka Silver Paladin, Pat’s boss. Nick was a truly fun character, at least as described by Pat since the story is told from Pat’s POV. With the perfect physique, dark eyes, and a billionaire to boot, Nick is, in essence, two-dimensional character perfection. Now don’t get me wrong, the guys do grow a bit within the constraints of the world that they live in (which is not planet Earth as we know it).
Gabriel did a good job with the world building in Love for the Cold Blooded, taking enough of the world that we live in and tweaking it just enough for us to believe that there are government departments dedicated to rebuilding cities after a hero/villain battle, or to have people calmly place bets on who was causing the commotion this time.
I liked that each chapter had a clever heading that alluded to thing to come and found the writing smooth and the editing almost perfect. I will never read the word “Eldritch” without chuckling in the future, Gabriel having used it liberally throughout a section of the book. No I am not one to admire repetitive use of a word but in the context of the story, it was perfect, and I even stared to anticipate when it would be used again.
I have a new “go to” book for when I need a laugh, even if it is only to read the full title, Love for the Cold Blooded or the Part-Time Evil Minion’s Guide to Dating a Superhero, and can assure you that it will be on my best of list come next January.