Today I am so pleased to welcome Amy Jo Cousins to Joyfully Jay. Amy Jo has come to talk to us about her latest release, The Girl Next Door. I read this one and totally loved it! She has also brought along a copy to give away. Please join me in giving Amy Jo a big welcome!
Talk Dirty to Me
There are so many different ways to talk about sex and all of them are delicious. Almost every romance reader I know has a soft spot for a good dirty talker who does it during sex as a turn-on. Whether it’s the heat of an alpha doing exactly what you’d expect him to do, or the surprise of a quieter character who suddenly turns out to have a filthy mouth in bed, that kind of talking is very sexy.
But there’s another kind of dirty talk found in some books that starts long before anything happens in the bedroom. Conversation about what people desire but are afraid to admit to is a different, but incredibly appealing kind of dirty talking.
There’s something quietly and impossibly vulnerable about someone trying to articulate what they want, what they need, to a partner who wants to give it to them, whatever it is. No matter how well those two people know each other, it can feel like a risk to say out loud something that is desired but hasn’t yet been tried. Because what if the partner isn’t into it, or it changes how they see each other? That kind of bravery is irresistible to me as a reader.
In The Girl Next Door, Cash and Steph are often playful in bed, and part of that playfulness extends to talking about fantasies they have as if the fantasies are only meant to stay in their imaginations, while they ease their way toward making them happen in real life. The conversation alone is part of the fantasy for these two, the verbal experimentation a necessary and enjoyable step on the way to, perhaps, actualizing the acts they discuss.
I’m a big fan of those kinds of conversations. They show up in some of my favorite books and it’s incredibly sexy to read about them every time. Some of the books on my list are m/m, some are m/m/f, all of them involve people accessing intensely intimate moments with their partners via conversations that require much bravery. And it’s hella hot.
Consent by Helen Saito is a collection of BDSM stories about couples negotiating consent between them in advance of trying new and potentially risky things. The short stories do a terrific job of examining all the safety nets a couple can put in place to make sure that everyone, both the person in charge and the person giving up control, can feel safe while doing things that feel very risky to them both. It’s not always mentioned in BDSM books how much trust the dom has to have in their sub to be honest about their limits, and Saito is excellent at making that distinction clear.
The married couple at the center of Charlotte Stein’s All Other Things are terrible at talking to each other. Basically, they don’t. Their own personal hang ups have gotten in their way so much that until Bea’s co-worker Kieran starts emailing Tommy and telling Tommy what to do with his wife, the married couple is barely having sex at all. Kieran’s presence at first feels more superficial, as if he’s just there to facilitate, but because Charlotte is a brilliant writer, by the end of the story Kieran has been humanized into his own vulnerability and it’s clear that his presence is also emotionally driven. This is a book about how hot it can be to play with the things people are ashamed of, and a big part of that comes via talking about things they normally keep hidden. From not talking about anything real ever, Bea and Tommy become deeply honest with each other, and with Kieran. It’s delicious.
Kris Ripper’s Scientific Method series isn’t a romance in many different ways (the books do not necessarily have HEAs or even HFNs), but it’s intensely romantic. The many books of the series follow Will and Hugh through their relationship with each other, their relationships with other people, and the eventual creation of a sort of elaborate, “it takes a village” new family. In it, Hugh and Will’s “shrink kink”, requiring a lot deep and vulnerable conversation about what Will (usually, although not always) is feeling and why, is on heavy display. That Hugh and his future partner Truman are actual therapists in this series allows for a lot of consciously meta talk about everything they do, and it’s terrifically engaging.
Heidi Cullinan’s Special Delivery starts with Mitch and Sam fumbling their way through the conversations they need to have to allow them to connect with each other the way they want, but their relationship truly deepens when they bring Mitch’s ex Randy into the mix. Randy is better at articulating what Mitch wants than Mitch is. Mitch is better at saying what Sam wants than Sam is. And Sam is the one who sees Randy more clearly than anyone else. Part of the fun is watching the three of them test each other in conversation about their wants and needs, long before anything more physical happens.
Honesty and vulnerability are powerful kinks. And dirty talking at that level can drive sexual tension in a book incredibly high. But it may not be a turn-on for every reader, of course. For some people, I imagine all the talking feels more like, “What are we waiting for? Let’s get to it!” What do you think? Is this kind of conversational kink up your alley, or does it feel like an unnecessary slow-down on the way to Orgasm Town? I’ll give away an ebook of The Girl Next Door to one random commenter on this post. And thank you for having me here!
Blurb
When it comes to love, go big or go home.
Charles “Cash” Carmichael traded his high-rise condo and family-firm career for a job coaching soccer for Chicago’s inner-city kids. He’s adjusting to living on minimum wage when his young cousin, newly out and running away from home, shows up on his less-than-luxurious doorstep.
Angsty teens definitely aren’t Cash’s thing. He needs local backup, and there’s only one name he can think of: Stephany Tyler. Back in the day, the bisexual Steph was the perfect friend with benefits until she fell in love with a woman.
To his relief, his former friend steps up to the plate. Soon, though, Cash finds himself feeling the familiar need to keep her in his bed, and in his life. But Steph, burned by the ex-girlfriend and by the absentee dad she’s been trying to connect with, won’t risk her heart again.
Good thing Cash believes in leaving it all on the field. If he can just convince Steph to get in the game, there’s a chance they can both win.
Warning: This book contains ex-friends with benefits crossing boundaries a second time, several steamy encounters on staircases, copious discussions about gay sex from a “straight” guy, a shout-out to magic buttons, and an especially memorable going away threesome.
Bio
Amy Jo Cousins writes contemporary romance and erotica about smart people finding their own best kind of smexy. She lives in Chicago with her son, where she tweets too much, sometimes runs really far, and waits for the Cubs to win the World Series.
Giveaway
Amy Jo has brought a copy of The Girl Next Door to give away to one lucky reader. Just leave a comment at the end of the post to enter. The contest ends on Friday, June 26th at 11:59 pm EST.
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Great post! I normally enjoy the “sex talk” in books. I think it is important in real life, if you want to make your sexual relationship work, and so it must be reflected in books. I find it very difficult to believe that two people engage in a sexual intercourse without finding out what the other one likes, and suddenly everything is perfect. That only happened to me once… Anyhow, negotiating what you like and are willing to try is important, and helps to build the sexual tension in a couple. That’s my point of view.
I’m really looking forward to reading Cash and Steph’s story. I have been waiting for them since Off Campus 😉
“…and suddenly everything is perfect.” Yeah, that’s the way we write it sometimes, isn’t it? And I will confess to writing magically perfect sex scenes in my early days. There’s nothing wrong with indulging in the fantasy of that kind of ‘nothing goes wrong is or ever awkward and everyone totally knows their partners hot spots & secret desires’ if it’s what you like. I remember reading Mystery Man by Kristen Ashley & thinking, “She doesn’t even know this dude’s NAME. No way.” But I was in the mood for mystery dude perfect sex, so it worked. 🙂 These days though, I’m usually more interested in figuring out what *doesn’t* work between a couple and then watching them try to navigate their way through that, in or out of bed. But definitely in! That’s where everyone gets reeeeeally uncomfortable. 😉
Hope you have fun with Cash & Steph! Thanks for commenting!
YAY! I wondered how they worked out!
Right?! You know, when I was writing Off Campus, I had no plans at all for the next books. But about two-thirds of the way through, I thought, “Holy crap! They’re totally flirting with each other!” And then I knew this book would have to be written some day. 🙂 Thanks for commenting!
This looks like a great book!
Thanks! And thanks for entering! 🙂
I can’t get enough! An author who can write hot dirty talk has got me for life! 🙂
That’s the goal. 😉 Thanks for entering!
What a fun post! So far, I’ve only read one of your works, Ms. Cousins, and that’s Five Dates. I enjoyed it and am looking forward to reading more.
Oh I liked First Dates! So fun!
I’m glad you enjoyed Five Dates! That was a fun one to write. 🙂 If you’re a member of the Goodreads M/M Romance group, I’ve got another free read coming out this summer through them. FULL EXPOSURE, the story of a rock star and a secretly tatted up geek boy, will come out sometime next month, I think! They’ll let me know when. Keep an eye out for it!
Cash was such a fun character, I can’t wait to hear what happens to him.
Cash’s head is a really fun space to spend time in as a writer. 🙂 He’s one of my favorites! Glad you enjoyed him!
I love it!
I was always taught that if you aren’t comfortable enough to talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it/do it.
Or you’re with the wrong partner. (sorry I forgot to include this part)
That’s pretty much exactly what I tell my kid! Nobody is a mind reader, and if you can’t talk to your partner, you’re going to miss out on all kinds of awesome fun stuff. Not to mention, it’s super sexy to talk abut what you want to do before you do it. 😉
Sounds wonderful. I love the snuggle in bed talks.
Me too! They’re the best. I had a really fun time writing a scene where Cash & Steph talk about things they imagine doing in the future. It was hot. 😉
Really depends on the characters. If it feels right for them to be talking dirty as part of foreplay then it doesn’t bother me, but if it seems off or pushed I tend to skip over it.
Agreed. I’ve read scenes where it feels over the top or awkward, so I really enjoy it when I find some well done stuff. I’m a big fan of Cara McKenna’s books, and Heidi Cullinan’s too, because they both write some terrific dirty talkers.
I’m all for the dirty talk before the actual down and dirty. I find these kinds of conversations often more interesting than actual sex. You can find out so much about a person (or character) by what they’re willing to share, or sometimes, unwilling. 🙂
Yes, yes, yes! All of this! It’s so revealing, seeing what people talk about and what they avoid. And I love reading stories where one of the characters is really good at pushing the other to talk about stuff they hesitate to mention. It can be casual, or part of an explicit power play game. But it’s always fascinating!
I love the talking dirty. Makes for great reading. This one sounds quite intriguing.
Thank you! And thanks for commenting!
Thanks for a great post! I’m looking forward to reading this!
Thanks for commenting! And good luck! 😉
Love the post. I’ve really liked the other books in the series so far.
Yay! I’m delighted to hear it. 😀 Thank you so much!
Thank you for the post and giveaway chance!
Thanks for commenting! 🙂
I don’t mind sexy talk off outside or inside the bed room in fiction, but it always leaves me wondering whether that’s how it’s done in real life. I think I’ve read somewhere that in real life most people are quiet during sex, well, with the exception of the natural sounds, … at least most aren’t big talkers … or am I completely misinformed? Maybe it has to do with real life people seldom living alone for various reasons *thinking world wide*.
I think a lot of things definitely happen more frequently in books than they do in real life, if only because we want our books to be constantly engaging at a level that real life almost never matches. 🙂 For me, real life dirty talk *during* sex absolutely depends on the person and I’ve ended up in giggles more than once. But the kind of dirty talking that’s *about* sex, what you want and what you aren’t sure you want but might like to imagine for a little while longer? That kind is almost always a turn on, because it’s all about the fantasy, and extending the excitement of sex beyond the moments of the actual naked smexy time and into other parts of our lives. It can be pretty thrilling.
Great post! Thanks for the chance!
Thanks for commenting!