Probing the Annals of Erotic Literature with J.A. Rock and Professor Anne Studebaker
Today I am so excited to welcome back author J.A. Rock, and her dog Professor Anne, who are here with another installment of Probing the Annals of Erotic Literature! This time with werestallions! Please join me in welcoming these ladies for their guest review!
In the Pantheon of literature, only a few opuses survive time’s cruel test. Those that do are books so bold in scope, so wild in ambition, so vivid in their depiction of man-horse pseudo-bestiality, that they shrug off our attempts to consign them to oblivion.
One such survivor is minor masterpiece Ridden by the Werestallion by M.H. Silver—the tale of a ranch hand who is given an impossible task, and in the process of trying to complete it, engages in a number of penetrative acts with a transmogrifying horse-human whose curse is an incalculable appetite for battering orifices with his giant stallion cock.
Lest you assume this is a book with no hidden depths, a book whose title is also the CliffsNotes, I mean to prove you wrong. Come with me on a magical journey through the annals of history. I want to show you some hidden depths.
Ah, the Old West. A symbol of hope, of the unplumbed fathoms of the American dream. Of a new frontier so feral and splendid that it spawned literally the greatest computer game of all time: The Oregon Trail. A game where everyone in your party ended up dead before you reached Oregon, where thieves were always taking your oxen, and you faced endless choices each time you reached a river.
Such is the world protagonist Lance Kingley stumbles into when he goes to work for the Lucky Day Ranch. Lance has nothing but a few bucks in his pocket, a change of clothes, and a chip on his shoulder when he arrives at the ranch’s gates one hot July day. Sure, he’s heard that Lucky Day is the greatest ranch any hand could hope to work on, but he’s just been fired from his last job for fraternization and has little reason to believe this gig will treat him much better.
Eager to prove his mettle to his new boss, Lance volunteers to go to work immediately. He is handed a daunting task: Convince the ranch’s beautiful black Arabian stallion, Ace of Spades, to mate with a white thoroughbred mare tied out in the paddock.
This is symbolism.
The mare is about to go out of heat, so time is of the essence. Unfortunately, Lance’s coworkers instantly abandon him to the void of futility. “It was just Lance and the stallion now—the hot-blooded, irritated stallion he was supposed to somehow get out into another pasture and on top of a mare in heat. He was confident about all of those steps except the mounting part.”
We’ve all been there, Lance. But nut up, buddy, because you’re traveling the Oregon Trail of life. And at this point, it’s time to decide whether you’re going to take the ferry across the river, or caulk the goddamn wagon and float it.
Lance clips a lead to Ace’s halter and takes him out to the pasture to give supervised horse mating the old college try. Silver is particularly deft at putting us inside Lance’s head as he proceeds with this act of equine voyeurism.
“The scent of the mare in heat was bringing Ace into arousal; his penis slid out of its sheath and drooped towards the ground, hard and slick. Lance was ashamed by his own arousal in response; but with all the hormones in the air, it was hard not to… well, get hard.”
Ridden by the Werestallion is near Orwellian in its sense that something isn’t right here. When Lance leads the recalcitrant but very erect Ace of Spades over to the mare, the mare initially allows Ace to mount. Then she suddenly kicks him away, breaks free, and gallops off, taking with her Lance’s only chance to impress the boss.
In Oregon Trail terms, Lance only has one axel left and Emma has drowned, and he needs to make an oxen trade that will put him back in the game. The kind of oxen trade that other MS-DOS users will talk about for decades.
In this case, the metaphoric oxen trade comes in the form of a strange sight: The horny stallion drops to his knees and transforms into a tall, hirsute man whose cock remains the size and shape of a horse’s.
Looking a stunned Lance in the eye, human-Ace delivers the “We’ll always have Paris” of gay erotic werehorse romance: “My cock wants mare. Man will have to do.”
Our hero, already hard from watching two horses almost fuck, isn’t about to say neigh to human-Ace. So he kneels and lets Ace choke him with his stallion cock.
Get it, Lance. Life is a mixed bag. Marge has cholera, Danny has a snakebite, and you lost five sets of clothes and 624 bullets in a river crossing, but I have a feeling you’re still gonna make it to Oregon.
Sure enough, Ace “makes it to Oregon” in Lance’s mouth, and then they both “make it to Oregon” together during a fervid anal sex scene that leaves Lance brimming with the werestallion’s essence. His cock starts growing longer, and his balls fill with “randy cum,” as opposed to the regular kind, and he leaps to the only logical conclusion.
“It’s the werehorse cum, he realized, as he licked some of it off his lips. It’s making my cock like this.”
And then he looks up and sees that all the ranch hands have been watching him and masturbating to this splendid cocktail of ecstasy and degradation. A ranch hand steps forward to congratulate him on his first mounting. Lance realizes they’re all werestallions too, and that he is now one of them.
It’s a tradeoff. He’s going to be a werestallion forever, which is kind of an intense life change, given that he was a just your average human up until a horse turned into a man and butt fucked him. But he can now live out the rest of his days being mounted and ridden by other werehorses on a beautiful ranch in New Mexico where dreams flow as freely as werestallion cum.
“I’ll be able to turn into a horse and run. That hit Lance in a sudden wave, like nothing he’d ever felt before; he wouldn’t be on a horse’s back, galloping toward the sunset. He would be the horse.”
With lush, captivating prose, and a plot that never lets us catch our breath, Ridden by the Werestallion is a masterful blend of satire, sensuality, and a deep compassion for humanity’s endless toils. The lesson is clear: Horse cum changes us in ways we can’t imagine. We all have a long and difficult journey ahead. But works like this erotic firecracker of a short story can help us make it to Oregon.
Explosive finishes: 5/5
I was almost turned on a little: 4/5
Startlingly graphic descriptions of what two horses look like when they’re ready to breed: 5/5
A good time was had by all: 5/5
Best line: “My cock wants mare. Man will have to do.”
Professor Anne’s Review