Today I am so pleased to welcome Kage Alan, to Joyfully Jay. Kage has come to talk to us about his latest release, Butt Villains on Vacation, written with Ally Blue, T.C. Blue, and Kiernan Kelly. Please join me in giving him a big welcome!
You know those boy bands with the really cute guys who you secretly fantasize are banging the living daylights out of each other when not on stage? Did you know many, many people think about authors the same way? And by the same way, I mean they think we can sing…only we do it with our stories. And when we do an anthology, we become a chorus. Please tell me that’s what you got out of our conversation so far.
Not that our sex lives aren’t legendary. I know Kiernan Kelly’s is. And I imagine Ally Blue’s is too, especially since so many people shout out the ‘f’ word when she’s around. But, again, that’s what our anthologies are like; a chorus, not a gangbang. We’re here to amuse and titillate all for the low price of an unpirated e-book or hard copy. Why? Because we care.
Yes, we’re caring authors. We’re also equal opportunity authors in that we’ll make fun of anybody at any time as long as it amuses us, then we’ll share it with you. Why? Again, because we care. We’ve done it in space, with ninjas, in Boyland, on the range with cowboys, and now with villains…because heroes are boring.
It’s all about the caring with us. Plus, you know, writing is a lot like breathing; if we don’t do it, we turn blue…only it’s because of malnutrition as opposed to oxygen deprivation.
Now, where was I? Oh, right. Butt Villains On Vacation. We wrote it. And by we, I mean me, Kiernan Kelly, T.C. Blue, and that Ally Blue person I mentioned a few paragraphs ago. She calls me names, so I refer to her as ‘that Ally Blue person.’ See? We even do it to each other. Why? Because we care enough to include each other.
So, kick back with a cup of tea or coffee, and a towel in case you like to be naughty when you read comedic, sexy anthologies and prepare yourselves for Butt Villains On Vacation. Because we care about your sanity!
And now, a snippet from Master Malevolence in The Tail of the Fluffy Monkey
“It must take an awful lot of nutrients to keep that superiority complex of yours fed,” Master Malevolence declared, and smiled smugly.
“You shouldn’t be making fun of me or my superiority complex!” The Fluffy Monkey folded his arms and stared Malevolence right in the eye. “You know who manufactured the drug you used on Congress? China! You know who designed the delivery system? China! You know who designed the fake ID maker you used to infiltrate the capital? China! You know who manufactured the printer used to print out your boarding pass before you even flew to Washington D.C.?”
“Japan,” Master Malevolence muttered.
“China! China! China!”
“You have a fetish for that name, don’t you?” Malevolence eyeballed him right back. “You might want to seek professional help for that.”
“It’s certainly a better name than…Dylan.” The Fluffy Monkey’s left eyebrow rose, probably in mock triumph, after he mentioned Master Malevolence’s real first name that nobody, nobody, was supposed to know. “Dylan is the name of mass murderer.”
Dylan knew he had a couple of ways to respond; pretend he’d never heard the name before, feign anger and threaten to turn The Fluffy Monkey in to the Villain’s Unilateral Legation of Villainous Affairs—or VULVA—for stalking and possession of protected information, act as if the Monkey had the upper hand now, or even the playing field.
“You’re thinking of that woman I hang out with and have my picture taken with at conventions, Kiernan Kelly, who’s actually a UK serial killer. But even her name is better than…Chi Kit.” Dylan watched the other man bristle and eyes open wide at the sound of the name. “Oh, yeah. Chi Kit… You sound like your parents conceived you at a KFC.”
Heroes are boring. Seriously, how much effort does it take to be good? Fortunately, we don’t know! The Butt-Thology authors are back again with their latest action-packed, suspenseful, horrifying thriller…Butt Villains On Vacation. Okay, it might be a comedy.
Find out who Designation Enforcement are pursuing at The Flaming Skull B&B, if retired villain Drunkboy can find love without accidentally killing someone, what happens when Assassin Bandit’s travel agent books him into a resort with the good guys, and why villains and arch nemeses Master Malevolence and The Fluffy Bunny have morning sickness symptoms after hooking up with each other!
Kage Alan lives in a suburb of Detroit, MI with his husband and their fish & shrimp, who are all affectionately named and answer to “fish” or “shrimp”…except his husband. He lives in fear of his husband’s Hong Kong Grandmonster, and is the author of GLBT comedies A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, the non-comedic Falling Awake, and Butt-thology short stories Spacehunters: Master Elite and the Maternal Order of Loganites Beyond Uranus, Twink Ninja Tiger, Flaxen Buns Of Fury, It’s A Wonderful Lube, and Chinchilla Chimichangas.