Andromeda's ChildRating: 1.5 stars
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Length: Novel

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Andris knows his duty. He has served the military of Celest his entire life and knows, as a warrior, that he must become pregnant and provide a child to help create the next generation of soldiers. For Andris its an inconvenience, one that he has put off as long as possible. But now the time has come and unfortunately his only genetic match is the commander of the alien world of Etera. Thane Warner isn’t likely to agree to provide a genetic sample, so Andris does the only thing he can — he kidnaps Thane and holds him prisoner on Celest.

Commander Thane Warner never expected to be captive to a man demanding his sperm. Andris is cold and mechanical and the idea of making a baby with him is just absurd. If he agrees though, Andris has promised to help him get home so Thane doesn’t see any other option. But falling in love was never part of the plan for either of them. Now war is on the horizon and Thane and Andris must decide if tradition is more important than the family they could create.

Well, truth be told, I’m not sure where to start with this one. At times Andromeda’s Child is so bad that it becomes fun, but that doesn’t last long and eventually it’s just bad. Let’s start with the plot. Andris lives on an area of Celest called Warrior World. Yup, that’s a place. Anyway, he was taken at birth to be raised in a military culture that disavows emotion and attachment. This aspect of his character was actually pretty interesting and had it been explored further, it could have added some depth to Andris and to the book as a whole. Apparently Thane is Andris’ only possible genetic equal and the only way Andris can conceive (pun intended) of acquiring his cooperation is by kidnapping. And now that’s he’s been kidnapped, Thane can’t return home. He either has to join Warrior World or be killed. Aside from being an absurd storyline, it isn’t exactly the basis for a loving relationship. Everything between these two characters is awkward and formal, so when they fall in love, it’s far from believable. The whole thing is dubiously non-consensual without ever actually stepping over the line.

The “science” of mpreg is usually bizarre, but Andromeda’s Child goes really off the rails with this particular concept. Andris gets pregnant instantly and has an accelerated pregnancy. Time passes almost without acknowledgment in this book so from one chapter to the next Andris goes from conception to giving birth. And suddenly there’s a massive war brewing. There’s no continuity from one event to another and it seems that huge plot points just pop up with little to no explanation. So much of this book feels like an afterthought and as a result, events occur and resolve themselves within a page or two and the characters never get a chance to evolve beyond single dimension creations.

At times Andromeda’s Child is so campy it’s fun, but those moments are few and far between. The end result is a plot that makes less than no sense and characters that lack depth or any believability. Even hardcore science fiction and mpreg fans won’t find much to enjoy here.

sue sig