Today I am so pleased to welcome Sara Dobie Bauer to Joyfully Jay. Sara has come to talk to us about her latest release, Escaping Exile. Please join me in giving her a big welcome!

Yes, Women Can Write Gay Sex

I suppose there’s a certain level of suspicion when a woman writes homosexual romance. I mean, as a woman, I do not have a penis or a prostate gland. I don’t know what it feels like to have someone pull my chest hair … although I am half-Italian, so my body hair is copious. (But not that copious.) I am a woman, and I am also not a doctor; I can’t speak to a lot of the technicalities of male-on-male sex. So, the question: what right do I have to penning it?

I’ve written plenty of heterosexual sex, and yes, my own experiences have fed into the fiction. I had never read gay romance until I started watching BBC’s Sherlock. This will make sense, I promise. See, there’s something called “Johnlock,” which is the fan fiction term for Sherlock Holmes and John Watson porn. This genre of fan fiction flourishes because Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman had the kind of on-screen chemistry directors dream about. There are literal scenes in the show when, as a viewer, you have to assume they just had sex. Since they did not literally have sex for all to see, the fandom exploded with Johnlock smut. And thank goodness, because … drum roll … reading Johnlock smut taught me how to write gay romance.

In school, we had textbooks that taught us things. As an adult, I have erotica. Might be TMI, but I learned so much about blowjobs from reading erotica. I also learned about anal sex, which came in handy as a prepared to pen my most recent release, Escaping Exile.

Escaping Exile is about Andrew, a bad boy vampire exiled to a tropical island, who saves a shipwrecked sailor. Andrew falls feet-over-fangs in love with Edmund, his sexy sailor, and they have ALL THE SEX in graphic detail. All those details about throbbing members and heaving chests (I promise I use neither of those phrases in the actual book) are thanks to reading gay fan fiction. Oh, and talking to gay friends.

Just like my earlier textbook reference, having informed, thought-provoking friends is super helpful. I probably learned more than I ever wanted to from my best boyfriends. It’s like interviewing an expert, you know? Ask the right questions, and become an expert yourself. No, I still don’t have a penis or a prostate, but I understand male parts better thanks to hours of conversation with Chris: my best buddy who earned Escaping Exile’s page one dedication.

When it comes to women writing gay romance, I don’t know if the dubiousness will ever really go away. Men and women are wired differently, but generally, we all have two things in common: we love to be loved and we love sex. Maybe we’re not so different after all. Straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual … We can all agree that love is love is love—and orgasms of any kind are awesome.


Andrew is a vampire from New Orleans, exiled to a tropical island in the 1800s as punishment for his human bloodlust. During a storm, a ship crashes off shore. After rescuing a sailor from the cannibals native to the land, Andrew becomes fascinated with his brilliant, beautiful new companion, Edmund.

Edmund is a British naturalist who has sailed the world seeking new species. Intrigued by creatures that might kill him, immortal Andrew is this scientist’s dream-but so is making his way back home. Edmund will fight to survive, even while wrapped in the arms of a monster.

As light touches and laughter turn to something much more passionate, the cannibals creep ever closer to Edmund. Can the ancient vampire keep his human alive long enough to escape exile and explore their newfound love, or will Andrew’s bloodlust seal his own doom?


Sara Dobie Bauer is a bestselling author, model, and mental health / LGBTQ advocate with a creative writing degree from Ohio University. Twice nominated for the Pushcart Prize, she lives with her hottie husband and two precious pups in Northeast Ohio, although she’d really like to live in a Tim Burton film. She is author of the paranormal rom-com Bite Somebody series, among other sexy things. Learn more at


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