I am sitting here tonight in shock, trying to process Ethan Day’s passing. As many of you know, Ethan was a long-time romance author. But he was so much more than that. To many people, Ethan was part of the foundation of our community — author, publisher, GRL organizer, and friend. He was hysterical (and wrote hysterical books), but also kind and warm and friendly. There was just a spark about Ethan that drew people in and just reading so many comments on Facebook makes it clear how many lives he touched.
Truly it seems impossible to imagine that he is gone. I just saw him at GRL a month ago. I spoke with him by email a couple of weeks ago. We talked about his latest book, we made plans for GRL next year. Ethan is scheduled for a guest post on the blog next week. I have his number on my phone. It just seems inconceivable that this man who was part of my life for eight years is suddenly just gone. I keep having this slide show playing in my mind of conversations we had, of pictures we took together, of silly things that happened. Like many people who knew and loved him, it seems just impossible to believe he is gone.
This year at GRL I had a thought about the friends we make in this community. It occurred to me, as I reunited with good friends, that many people I care deeply about in the romance world are people I only see many once or twice a year. It seems impossible to believe that we only have a handful of days in person together a year, and the rest is all online contact. And yet, somehow we form bonds that feel so strong and real, bonds that can be just as important as with the people in our everyday lives. It made me realize that despite only seeing many of my friends annually, there is still a deep connection. And Ethan was one of those friends. His loss feels so profound and I can’t even imagine what it will be like not talking to him or seeing him online or chatting with him at a conference.
There is so much more I could say, but I am still kind of in shock. His loss will be felt deeply in this community and we are lucky for the time he touched our lives. I hope you guys had a chance to know him, even if only through his books. Hug your friends and family and much love to you all.
P.S. If anyone would like to share thoughts about Ethan, please feel free to include them below
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This is a lovely tribute, Jay. Our community has lost a brilliant author and one of the nicest men I know. It seems wrong to talk about him in the past tense, but Ethan was a remarkable guy. He gave so much joy to so many people. I wonder if he could ever know how many lives he’s touched. I feel blessed to have known him. RIP, dear friend.
<3
He was one of the best. My first GRL was in 2017. Ethan was the only reason I stayed for the whole event. He was unflinchingly kind and compassionate. His personality was larger than life. When I saw him in Virginia, he remembered my name. I was shocked. And we talked like long time friends. He was the best of our community. May our incredible memories of this beautiful man keep him alive in our hearts forever.
Being an Indonesian, who lives in Indonesia, and never has the chance to visit the US much less GRL, I only know Ethan Day by name and books. I’ve read about his passing this morning and I can’t imagine the loss you feel as his acquaintance. Condolences, Jay.
A beautiful tribute, Jay, and spot on. Ethan was one of the kindest and most hysterical people I’ve ever known. I adored every conversation we shared along with the hugs and the laughs.
Lovely tribute. I will miss him.
I am absolutely stunned and heartbroken to hear about Ethan’s passing. I knew him only through his books and a couple of FB messages we’d exchanged.
Ethan, as evidenced by so many messages, you touched so many lives. Your sense of humor, quick wit and kindness you will be greatly missed, not just by those who knew and loved you personally, but also by those of us who only knew you through your books and FB. Thank you for the way you touched my life through your books.
He is a sad, sad loss. Ethan gave me my first chance in publishing, and I’ll never forget how much I owe him for that. As I said on FB, if ever there was a testament to Ethan’s grace and integrity, the sheer *class* with which he eventually (and sadly) wound up Wilde City has him standing like a giant. He will be greatly missed.
So sorry to hear of his passing. I didn’t really know him and only knew him through his books. As You Are was one of my first reads when I discovered M/M fiction some 12 years ago. It’s one of his stories that has stayed with me over the years. He will be greatly missed. My condolences.
My sympathy on the death of your friend, Jay.
Jay, I was online looking for an update on Ethan’s latest work . I am in shock and so sad that you have lost your friend.
I loved his books.
I am so sorry…
Morgan
Thank you Morgan. It is still hard to believe he is gone. I occasionally will see his name in my contacts, which I can’t bear to delete, and it hits me again. Ethan was such a lovely, joyous person. I am glad that his books will live on in so many people’s hearts.
Jay, Can’t believe it’s been over a year since Ethan’s been gone.
Seems strange to think so often of someone I’ve never met.
Hopefully you are ok and enjoying the holidays.
Morgan
Yes, it is so hard to believe. This year at GRL was particularly hard. We had a lovely memorial service but it left many of us sobbing. Still, it was nice to have a chance to really celebrate his life among people who loved him.