Rating: DNF
Buy Link:
Amazon | iBooks | Amazon UK
Length: Novel

Unable to get over his girlfriend’s supposed suicide, Andrew spends his days in the deepest apathy. When he finally realizes that there are too many mysteries about her death to just give up, Andrew runs to the graveyard and swears to her grave that he will uncover the truth.

As he stands in the pouring rain, a familiar voice calls his name.

Dan once was his best friend, he was like a brother to him. After seven years without seeing each other, Andrew should be angry at Dan for leaving him when he needed him the most. He shouldn’t trust him when he offers to help.

But he does.

A story of two young men that, getting close to a terrible truth, find hope in a relationship that could either save them, or destroy them completely.

I hate to admit it, but I had to DNF this book. I was having a difficult time getting into it and, in the parts I read, I felt the plot was muddy and I didn’t find myself connecting to the MCs at all. There was a mystery that could have been interesting, but the clues and details were difficult to follow and I kept having to go back and re-read passages. I would have been able to push through with some effort and give Back in the Rain a low rating. However, at 49%, I decided I couldn’t go any further when they have an encounter where Andrew seems to force sex on Dan. What follows is a description of the specific events.

Their relationship had been complicated for a long time and Dan admits to Andrew that he associated with some less than top shelf people while they had been apart. When he decides to help Andrew search for the person who killed his girlfriend, Dan warns him he is going to have to do a few sketchy things to get information. The night in question, Dan is with a man and a drunk Andrew sees them kissing. Andrew waits for Dan to come back to their shared apartment to confront him. Here are some pieces of dialogue from that scene that show exactly what happened. All of this is from Andrew’s POV.

“I want to have fun too.” He was disoriented by my words, but I didn’t give him time to think. I kissed him. I was thirsty. I forced my tongue inside his mouth, licked his lips, bit them. He didn’t respond to my kiss, but he didn’t reject me either. Encouraged by that, I moved to his neck, biting stronger and stronger.

“Dan…be mine.”

“Drew, stop. You’re drunk.” This time he tried to push away.

“I’m not stopping. I want you.”

This bothered me, but after a minute, Dan seemed to be getting into it, so I was willing to let it go. They kissed and undressed each other and began some very urgent touching, but then…

“I want you. I can’t hold back anymore,” I said, and I noticed hesitation flashing in his eyes.

“Drew wait.” Had he changed his mind? I didn’t want to hear it.

“No.” I couldn’t stop anymore. No reasons. Not that night.

Forward a few sentences.


“Shh,” I shut him up with a kiss. “Please, just be quiet and let me have you.”

Forward a little more.

His body was trembling, and I could hear him groaning. I was hurting him, I knew that, but in that moment, I was just too drunk to realize it.

The next morning, Dan is gone when Andrew wakes up feeling guilty. Not necessarily because he raped Dan, but it seems to be because he knows people need to be prepped before anal and he didn’t do that.

Anyway, that scene was the final nail in the coffin for me for Back in the Rain. Any interest I had in the mystery went up in smoke. The trigger warning in the blurb mentions murder, suicide, and explicit MM content. There is no mention of rape. That’s a hard limit for me, and I wouldn’t have picked up the book had I known.

Now, all of this is takes place in the part I read and that shaped my opinion on the story. I don’t know what happens in the rest of the book. Another reader may think the Andrew and Dan are worth getting to know and be willing to consider this scene as part of the story as a whole. With all that in mind, just because I had to DNF this one doesn’t mean everyone would. I’m using this review as a cautious warning.

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